When You Feel Anger as a Dementia Caregiver

Dementia caregivers need a lot of support, resources, and help, especially when it comes to handling their emotional health. When a person is diagnosed with dementia, it can have an emotional toll on everyone around them, especially caregivers.

Dementia caregiving is physically, mentally, and emotionally challenging. When family members decide to care for a loved one with dementia, they don’t always anticipate the intense feelings they regularly experience.

Anger and frustration are two common and surprising emotions dementia caregivers experience.

Feeling angry is a common experience for dementia care caregivers. The overwhelming nature of dementia caregiving and the feeling of helplessness and frustration of watching a loved one’s abilities decline is extremely stressful.

The distress that comes with continuously experiencing the changes in your life, your home, and the life of your loved one is significant. And many dementia caregivers have a difficult time processing and managing these emotions in a positive manner.  

In this blog, we’ll discuss how to understand and manage your anger as a dementia caregiver and take care of yourself in the process.

Understanding Why you May feel Angry

Caring for a person with dementia is a full-time commitment, in addition to working and caring for their own family. Dementia caregivers are responsible for managing the individual’s personal care, safety, transportation, finances, prescription refills, health care decisions, and meal preparation.

Caring for someone with dementia can consume your life, and the constant daily demands can lead to mental and physical exhaustion.

In addition to these daily responsibilities, individuals with dementia may frequently ask repetitive questions and display personality and behavioral challenges, which can be frustrating and stressful for caregivers.

According to the Alzheimer’s Association, 59% of dementia caregivers report experiencing high levels of stress due to the demands of caregiving.

Anger often stems from stress, anxiety, and frustration. For dementia caregivers, it’s important to recognize your triggers and learn effective ways for managing your anger.

Anger can come from a variety of sources, including:

• Progression of Dementia symptoms: Watching a loved one with dementia is emotionally challenging, especially when it’s a parent or spouse. The personality, physical, and behavioral changes and the loss of independence can be devastating.
• Challenging behaviors: Repetitive questions and struggles with basic tasks can test a caregiver’s patience.
• Social isolation: The demands of caregiving can lead to social isolation, which can exacerbate emotions and add frustration to an already stressful situation.
• Unrealistic Expectations: Unrealistic expectations about caregiving can lead to disappointment and anger when things don’t go as planned.

How to Manage Anger As a Dementia Caregiver

Many caregivers struggle to understand the source of their anger and often feel ashamed or guilty about feeling angry with their loved one. Anger is a natural human response to stress, and caring for a loved one with dementia involves daily stress.

Managing your stress and anger through self-care practices and asking for help and support when needed is critical. Caregiving is time-consuming, and it’s easy to get so caught up in caregiving that you can neglect yourself.

However, you have to take care of yourself physically, emotionally, and spiritually to successfully care for your loved one.

Let’s look at essential ways dementia caregivers can manage stress and frustration:

1. Acknowledge Your Feelings

Don’t feel guilty for feeling angry. Feeling angry does not make you a bad person. It makes you human. Anger is a normal reaction to the demands of caregiving. Forgive yourself, let it go, find an outlet, and seek support.

2. Seek Support

When you’re feeling overwhelmed, ask for help! Speak with a close friend, therapist, or pastor. Join a dementia support or caregiver group. Talking about your feelings or even having a good cry with someone who can relate will help.

3. Take Breaks

Taking breaks from caregiving allows you to recharge and prevent burnout. Respite care centers can take over caregiving for a few hours daily or weekly. Having a quiet dinner, spending time with friends, or going on vacation is essential to your health and wellness.

4. Practice Deep Breathing and Mindfulness

Practicing deep breathing and mindfulness techniques can help caregivers relax during intense moments of stress. Go outside, breathe, sit in your garden, or walk your dog.

5. Prioritize Self-care

Regular exercise, a healthy diet, and enough sleep can do wonders for your emotional and physical health. Treat yourself to a relaxing massage or simple mani and pedi.

6. Educate Yourself

Alzheimer’s and other forms of dementia are complex diseases that affect everyone differently. Educating yourself about dementia, its symptoms, and behaviors will help you better understand what your loved one is experiencing. Learning redirection and distracting techniques can keep individuals with dementia engaged and help manage difficult behaviors.

7. Practice Empathy (for yourself)

Dementia caregiving is extremely challenging, and there are going to be days when you are upset, frustrated, and angry. Remind yourself that it’s ok to make mistakes and experience tough emotions. You don’t have to be perfect. Give yourself some grace.